Skip to main content

It's Here!


Well, tomorrow is the day!   It's my second chance at living a healthier life and embracing everything life has to offer.   I know this is the right decision for me.   I have been so calm today and I truly feel ready to embrace this new change.   

The last time I was healthy was when I was in college and so I don't even really  know what it feels like to live as a healthy adult.   I am really looking forward to all of the new experiences and new memories that are out there to be made.

Today I was on liquids only (including protein shakes).   Luckily, the protein shakes have kept my blood sugar up a little bit so I am not chasing lows.   The hospital did give me a backup plan if I get low blood sugar before I make it to my arrival time of 1pm at the hospital.   So, I was thankful for that.

I feel there has been a lot of emotional and mental work the past 6 months leading up to tomorrow.  Some of the things I really had to examine going into this decision were some serious questions.   I did a lot of soul searching and was 100% honest with myself.   I really had to make sure my motivation for this life change was pure and was for the right reasons.

What I figured out was that if this opportunity came up and earlier than tomorrow, I would not have been psychologically prepared.   I never put two and two together in that a lot of my body dysmorphia and negative self talk and insecurities about what I looked like was directly related to the trauma I experienced as a child and young adult.   As I have worked through that trauma with my dear therapist the last 6 years, a lot of the reasons for those insecurities and my addiction are no longer standing.   I am human however, so I do still have days when moments from those traumas creep into my mind.   But what I am saying is that those traumas are not dictating or defining what I do or who I am today.   I also am not self medicating to try and numb the psychological/emotional pain I experienced.

Everything happens for a reason in it's own time - Prior to therapy I would be nowhere close to the maturity and level thinking I am capable of now.   There was no rushing it - it just took time for me to accept what had happened in my past and decided to not let it have power over me any longer.   I also overcame my addiction and as I have mentioned before, this past January I am 10 years sober.  My sobriety comes before my marriage, my family and my friends.   My sobriety is my #1 commitment for life.   And as it should be!

***I will say to you, if you or anyone you know is struggling with any sort of addiction - I am 100% here for you!   There are reasources out there and support to help you.  You are deserving of help and are not a burden or a lost cause.***

So as I write this, the night before my gastric bypass surgery, I wanted you to know how positive and how confident I am going into this.   Is there a chance for complications?   Of course.   But me worrying about that just zaps today's energy and space in my mind   I am choosing to go into this with a positive outlook and I will tackle whatever obstacles come post surgery head on.   I am laser focused on getting my fluids in and my protein in as well as making sure I rest and heal.


There is a good chance I won't be posting tomorrow night for obvious reasons.   But I do promise to give you an update on here as soon as I can.

Until then my friend, be happy.   Be grateful and do something nice for someone else just because you can.

Here we go!

Yours,

Emilee


Disclosure -"The information provided on this blog is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice.  I am not responsible for any actions taken or decisions made based on the content of this blog;   Always seek the advice of a qualified professional for any specific questions or concerns.  This blog is a personal opinionated blog and doesn't reflect the opinions of any organizations I may be affiliated

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Back to Work and 6 Week Post Op

  My sincerest apologies that this so LATE! I started back working full time following my surgery about a month ago and to say it's been an adjustment has been an understatement.   (It's been good though!) The first two weeks back to work were absolutely exhausting.   Catching up from being off for four weeks and then trying to mentally get my brain back into work mode was a challenge.   Especially with no caffeine! But, I've been adjusting and finding my rhythm and groove and I think I'm getting it down finally.   It's a bit of a balancing act to remember to get your hydrating fluids in throughout the day (and making sure you are on the mark at specific points throughout the day), making sure I am getting my protein in everyday (which hasn't been too much of an issue for me) and making sure my calorie intake is appropriate.   On top of getting up for work and the typical work week stressors, appointments and life. I am still curren...
Post a Comment
Read more

Letting Go

Hello!   Sorry I have been gone for a minute - life has been busy to say the least!   I will be having gastric bypass surgery the first week of June.     I start my pre surgery diet tomorrow, Wednesday, May 21st.   I am really ready and excited!   I had ordered all my food at my appointment yesterday and have that all ready to go as well!   I expect some challenges and some emotional bumps the next two weeks - but I also expect to blow this out of the water!   I am on this and am going to work this program and succeed at it! I am human, I am not going to lie, the last week and a half I've been eating anything and everything I wanted before going into this diet. And the thing I noticed the most was it was appeasing for a moment - but - that moment was so fleeting when I finished eating whatever junk food I was eating at the time.   In fact my body felt worse and I was lethargic and sort of regretted eating wh...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Thanks

Hello Friends! No, this is not a current photo - this was during my second hospitalization.   It was a day that I actually felt somewhat human so thought it would be a good photo opportunity. Now that I have gotten you caught up on how my month of June went - I wanted to talk about a few things that happened in the hospital that were eye opening and made me very grateful for the care I was given. But first I wanted to throw out there that the care I received during my hospitalizations (with the exception of one night shift) was absolutely incredible!    I can't really call out the facility or specific staff members but know that you made all of the difference in my hospital stay.   My nurses were so compassionate and shared their stories with me on how long they had been in the healthcare field.    Some of them were in RN school, some were new and some had been doing it since 1994.  I also was able to speak to some staff that were COVID staff...
Post a Comment
Read more