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It's Here!


Well, tomorrow is the day!   It's my second chance at living a healthier life and embracing everything life has to offer.   I know this is the right decision for me.   I have been so calm today and I truly feel ready to embrace this new change.   

The last time I was healthy was when I was in college and so I don't even really  know what it feels like to live as a healthy adult.   I am really looking forward to all of the new experiences and new memories that are out there to be made.

Today I was on liquids only (including protein shakes).   Luckily, the protein shakes have kept my blood sugar up a little bit so I am not chasing lows.   The hospital did give me a backup plan if I get low blood sugar before I make it to my arrival time of 1pm at the hospital.   So, I was thankful for that.

I feel there has been a lot of emotional and mental work the past 6 months leading up to tomorrow.  Some of the things I really had to examine going into this decision were some serious questions.   I did a lot of soul searching and was 100% honest with myself.   I really had to make sure my motivation for this life change was pure and was for the right reasons.

What I figured out was that if this opportunity came up and earlier than tomorrow, I would not have been psychologically prepared.   I never put two and two together in that a lot of my body dysmorphia and negative self talk and insecurities about what I looked like was directly related to the trauma I experienced as a child and young adult.   As I have worked through that trauma with my dear therapist the last 6 years, a lot of the reasons for those insecurities and my addiction are no longer standing.   I am human however, so I do still have days when moments from those traumas creep into my mind.   But what I am saying is that those traumas are not dictating or defining what I do or who I am today.   I also am not self medicating to try and numb the psychological/emotional pain I experienced.

Everything happens for a reason in it's own time - Prior to therapy I would be nowhere close to the maturity and level thinking I am capable of now.   There was no rushing it - it just took time for me to accept what had happened in my past and decided to not let it have power over me any longer.   I also overcame my addiction and as I have mentioned before, this past January I am 10 years sober.  My sobriety comes before my marriage, my family and my friends.   My sobriety is my #1 commitment for life.   And as it should be!

***I will say to you, if you or anyone you know is struggling with any sort of addiction - I am 100% here for you!   There are reasources out there and support to help you.  You are deserving of help and are not a burden or a lost cause.***

So as I write this, the night before my gastric bypass surgery, I wanted you to know how positive and how confident I am going into this.   Is there a chance for complications?   Of course.   But me worrying about that just zaps today's energy and space in my mind   I am choosing to go into this with a positive outlook and I will tackle whatever obstacles come post surgery head on.   I am laser focused on getting my fluids in and my protein in as well as making sure I rest and heal.


There is a good chance I won't be posting tomorrow night for obvious reasons.   But I do promise to give you an update on here as soon as I can.

Until then my friend, be happy.   Be grateful and do something nice for someone else just because you can.

Here we go!

Yours,

Emilee


Disclosure -"The information provided on this blog is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice.  I am not responsible for any actions taken or decisions made based on the content of this blog;   Always seek the advice of a qualified professional for any specific questions or concerns.  This blog is a personal opinionated blog and doesn't reflect the opinions of any organizations I may be affiliated

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