No, this is not a current photo - this was during my second hospitalization. It was a day that I actually felt somewhat human so thought it would be a good photo opportunity.
Now that I have gotten you caught up on how my month of June went - I wanted to talk about a few things that happened in the hospital that were eye opening and made me very grateful for the care I was given.
But first I wanted to throw out there that the care I received during my hospitalizations (with the exception of one night shift) was absolutely incredible! I can't really call out the facility or specific staff members but know that you made all of the difference in my hospital stay. My nurses were so compassionate and shared their stories with me on how long they had been in the healthcare field. Some of them were in RN school, some were new and some had been doing it since 1994. I also was able to speak to some staff that were COVID staff there back in 2020-2024. They talked a lot about burn out and the conditions of patients and how scary the uncertainty was. And how acute patients were and how many lost their lives because of COVID. I thanked them for their continued service and their dedication to compassion, love and healing. They are all in the industry they were meant to be in for sure and I always thanked them everytime I saw them because I feel healthcare can be a very thankless job. The staff work tirelessly and do not get the recognition that they deserve most times.
So KUDOS to you all who work in the healthcare industry day in and out - good days and bad. You ARE making a difference so please remember that on the rough days!
I spent I think about a total of 16 days inpatient broken between three hospitalizations and several emergency room visits. It was certainly NOT what I was anticipating going into this whole process. But, it was also a calculated risk too - surgical complications that is. Nothing is guaranteed. But, at least my bowel has since been fixed (the 2nd surgery) and everything is functioning as it should now. :-)
This photo is of me in my super cape - when I'd go for walks in the hallways it was my backside covering. Lol just thought it was a fun photo to take I guess. :-)
I am still recovering. I feel like my recovering period will remain extended a little bit but that is okay! I listen to my body and rest when I need to rest and I am active and doing things as I feel strong enough to do so. I have my appointment with my surgeon tomorrow for the post op from the 2nd surgery. I haven't weighed myself since June 5th (first surgery) - so I am very excited to see where I am at these days. I think some of you are also anxious to know too! (Or so you have told me - or a "birdie" told me).
I think the immediate post op recovery phase is becoming a distance memory - one that I am thankful to forget. I am not going to lie to you - it was rough. And during that time, I did feel quite a bit of regret regarding my decision to go forward with the gastric bypass surgery. I was feeling as if I ruined my life going forward. But a lot of that was due to severe lack of sleep, very very high postoperative pain and just general discomfort.
But looking back, even if it was uncomfortable, it was still worth going through.
I feel so much stronger not just physically but mentally. A strength I thought I had lost a lifetime ago. I feel empowered again. I feel determined. So damn determined to not only hit my goals but EXCEED them. I've wanted to be healthy since I began my journey becoming unhealthy. It was always in the back of my mind. It was always the thought that never left. It annoyed the shit out of me. But it also pushed me. It may have taken over 25 years to finally listen to that voice, but, I am thankful every hour of every day that I did. Because I am feeling the results. I am seeing the results.
I am seeing ME again.
I am FINDING ME again.
And something else I noticed......when I look back at photos where I was clearly not at my healthiest - I'm seeing how beautiful I am. How absolutely gorgeous I was and am.
And this takes my breath away. This is so unexpected.
When I was at my unhealthiest, all I saw was how big I was and how that was not beautiful. And that totally blocked out my ability to see myself. REALLY see myself. Not just for what I look on the outside - but on the inside. My god. I missed the boat (no pun intended).
I am SO beautiful and I am SO proud of myself and I am SO excited to be on a new path. My path. No one elses.
And I don't say this out of arrogance - it's just a realization that hit me today and I never realized - I just never realized. How is that possible??
I just wanted to share my gratitude for so many things today (and a couple more photos). I think it's important to be grateful for the blessings and for the difficult times.
Everything has something to teach us, everything. I think we just need to be willing to be open to it.
What is something you are grateful for today?
Yours Truly -
Emilee
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